On Guam, family is more than a last name. It’s the people who raise us, tease us, challenge us, and sometimes drive us a little crazy — but who anchor us no matter where life takes us. In this episode of My Jungle Voices, we sat down to talk about what family means to folks from the islands, especially those of us who grew up in big clans where cousins blur into siblings and aunties form the backbone of our childhoods.

Our conversation started with the differences in how each of us was raised. Steve, who grew up as an Army brat, learned early that “family” meant his immediate household — mom, dad, and brother — because they moved constantly and rarely lived near extended relatives. Meanwhile, both Therese and I grew up in sprawling family networks on Guam, surrounded by cousins, grandparents, and gatherings where everyone is somehow connected, even if you’re not quite sure how.

We also talked about expectations — the spoken and unspoken rules that sit quietly inside island homes. For some of us, it meant finishing college before even thinking about marriage, or carrying the responsibility of looking after younger siblings and cousins. For others, it meant being reminded that your behavior reflects the entire clan. Many of us grew up hearing, “You don’t do anything to embarrass your family,” a clear echo of the Asian and Pacific Islander values embedded in our upbringing.

The episode digs into chosen family too — the people who become part of your circle not because you share blood, but because you share life. Growing up on Guam, it was normal for close friends to become “aunties,” “uncles,” and “siblings,” woven naturally into the family fabric. And as we’ve all moved off island, we’re learning how those definitions shift. Sometimes, family becomes the people who gather in your home for Christmas Eve, or the friends your children know better than distant relatives.

And finally, we ask ourselves: What do we want the next generation to learn about family? The answer is simple but not always easy — you can’t force connection; you nurture it. Whether living close to home or oceans away, we keep our families alive through the stories we tell, the food we share, and the effort we make to bring the cousins together. Because, as this episode reminds us, our island stories aren’t just about where we come from. They’re about who we belong to.